Scary Scalar Functions - Part Four: Your Environment
You've learned why Scalar UDFs are slow and how to remove them. The last question: where do you even start? Here's how I triage them across a whole environment.
Scary Scalar Functions
4 posts
Scary Scalar Functions - Part Three: The Cure
Nuke them from orbit, or inline them. The practical ways to neutralize Scalar UDF performance pain, from a free SCHEMABINDING win to a full ITVF rewrite.
Scary Scalar Functions - Part Two: Performance
A Scalar function that does literally nothing still runs over 20 times slower. Here is the proof, measured four different ways.
Scary Scalar Functions - Part One: Parallelism
Consultants hate me for this one weird trick. Because I'll be uncovering all the mess Scalar functions can cause in a series of articles.