Finding and Triaging Scalar UDFs Across Your Environment
You've learned why Scalar UDFs are slow and how to remove them. The last question: where do you even start? Here's how I triage them across a whole environment.
Scary Scalar Functions
4 posts
Fixing Scalar UDFs: SCHEMABINDING, Inlining and ITVF Rewrites
Nuke them from orbit, or inline them. The practical ways to neutralize Scalar UDF performance pain, from a free SCHEMABINDING win to a full ITVF rewrite.
Measuring the Scalar UDF Performance Cost
A Scalar function that does literally nothing still runs over 20 times slower. Here is the proof, measured four different ways.
How Scalar Functions Prevent Parallelism
Consultants hate me for this one weird trick. Because I'll be uncovering all the mess Scalar functions can cause in a series of articles.